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Priestess of Avalon

At fall equinox I co-led my first English retreat. Janey Francis, a sister of the international Yogini circle, had invited me to co-create a weekend seminar on Mary Magdalene at Glastonbury which is believed to be the place of former Avalon. What an honor and pleasure!

But things went differently than expected. The retreat itself was outperformed by a very intense inner process that started as soon as I touched British ground: The first sign was a strong cold. As part of our preparations for the retreat, Janey and I went to Chalice Well. There I met a demon who spit me into the face: “YOU DON’T BELONG HERE.” I recognized this demon as a guardian – as did Mary Magdalene in her Gospel of the Beloved Companion. In the next moment I knew: “Of course I do belong.” How could I ever manage to drop out of this vast mystery called life?

Only a few hours later my moon time started … intensively and way too early. Then I knew that there were some deep processes happening on an energetic level without my mind being able to grasp it. Of course I had to co-hold the space and the frame for the participants of our retreat. And for Saturday evening we had booked the Mary Magdalene Chapel at Glastonbury for our exclusive ceremony.

Janey and I had a lot of time before we were to welcome the women into the chapel. So we sat down for a shared silent meditation to immerse with Mary Magdalene before the actual ceremony. I asked her for information on this intense process that I was going through … and promptly strong feelings arose: reactions to defamation, humiliation, despisement, and expulsion from community: You don’t belong here.

I felt pain, I felt shock … and at the same time a very clear sentence was there causing my body to straighten again: “Look who I am today.” I knew Mary Magdalene was with me.

The ceremony started – Janey and I had prepared and planned everything carefully – we had Mary Magdalene’s blessing. And the holy ceremony really became a memorable experience: We evoked Mary Magdalene’s presence in our circle with our feminine practice. Each one of us had the opportunity to be with Her … on her own … but not alone as we sat in our women’s circle.

During this meditation I asked Mary Magdalene: “Who am I?” Her immediate answer was clear: “You are my priestess and thus Sophia’s priestess.” Oh, how touched I was. A symphony of honor, humility, devotion, and joy overwhelmed me.

Note: Sophia is the name of the creative feminine field,
the dark ground of all being in Mary Magdalene’s tradition.

Oh, yes, and I stood there with my sister priestess of ancient times, in Her chapel, honoring Her, co-leading a ceremony for our circle. “Look who I am today.” And then each woman stepped forward, one by one, speaking her words of dedication at the altar.

That very evening my symptoms eased. Yet I had a retreat to finish! Only in the airplane I had the time for reflexion and integration. I journaled, I drew. And suddenly it wrote through me a few lines that made me shiver and made me understand the initiation I had gone through:

Priestess of Avalon I have once been.
This has ended. I am not bound to this tradition anymore.
I am a free priestess.
I follow my heart and my body
Aligned to Mary Magdalene and Ma Dark Vastness.

Note: Ma Dark Vastness is “my” name for the dark ground of all being
which Mary Magdalene calls Sophia.

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My Story of Feminine Evolutionary Leadership

I was not born as a radiant leader. Early in my life my grandmother and my mother (my female lineage) recognised the leadership in me: Being the eldest of three kids I was the leader of the tribe – and I needed to become an intelligent leader in my tribe as my two younger silbling are brothers with a strong will, too.

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The rest of the world experienced me as a shy girl, an introvert, happy to be alone in the company of a good book. At school I didn’t belong to the “cool clique”, I felt mobbed and frozen out. I learned to be enough with myself. I learned to remain true to myself, not living a lie, just to fit in, but to stay with my truth – although at that time I was not in the position to name it that self-confident way.

During my late teenage years I worked as tutoress. I realized that teaching the content of Latin and maths as well as doing homeworks with the kids was only a minor part of my success. I supported my pupils to build up an inner leadership (concentration, dedication, awareness, organisation, …) which became the foundation for their greater ability to perform at tests.

After difficult teenage years life became easier at university. Only 12 % of the students at Technical Physics were female. So each woman had a tribe of male friends around her. 😉 I realized only later how much I influenced them just by being me in this tribe of mine. I became the trusted member that was chosen to hear life challenges and to be asked for advice.

In my times as a senior student I started to teach tutorials in Mathematical Methods of Theoretical Physics once a week. Standing in front of a huge (mainly male) group of students was – surprisingly – such an easy task for the former shy girl. The main medicine (from my point of view) was the message: “Hey, folks, it’s doable!” I strengthened their confidence by taking away the “heavy sensation” that so often comes with the term alone: Mathematical Methods of Theoretical Physics. 😉

To write my PhD I spend 3 years at CERN and found myself working in the students’ office at Theory Division. I guess you can imagine that most of the time I was the only female student which put me again in a “special” position. Naturally I was in a trusted leadership position – not so much in the field of physics! 😉 – but in all matters of life aside of theoretical physics.

With three other students we founded UNTG club – where UNTG stands for Upstairs Not Too Good! 😉 Our common denominator was that we were able to be happy and smiling despite all worries about PhDs, fellowships, and grades. My dear friend Adrian stated one of the main rules in the club: “Trust Uli!” 😉

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Well, my time in science came to an end, I changed into the field of business, banking to be straight. I was assigned with the function of a quant – you know, those nerds behind the computer, doing strange calculations that nobody else understands… But soon I found myself in the de-facto position of a project manager, taking a firm stand to implement the result of my computations into a banking software. I had an integrating function – the trusted person all stakeholders could talk to. I was the hub in the middle, reaffirming everybody that they are understood.

Again I changed my job, this time I entered a business consulting company that was currently establishing a new business branch. I didn’t lead the group, instead I brought in my medicine of being able to talk to (and in front of) board members – and to understand their needs and intentions.

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My first child interrupted that career and initiated me into a new form of leadership: conscious evolutionary mothering / parenting. Later in my life two more children would join the tribe challenging me to become clearer and clearer on my values, my vision, my motives, my beliefs, and my boundaries. Taking a strong stand against violence and competition (in games, movies, relationships) and for benevolent cooperation was and is a learning-by-doing bootcamp in inner and outer leadership. Managing the physical, psychological, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of our family is a rewarding, yet challenging experience of leadership! 😉

After the birth of my first son I was initiated into the field of politics. In Austria’s Green party I found a fertile soil for my wish to become part of the solution – and a fertile soil for women to quickly grow into leadership positions. For years I was the chair woman of my party in the local government. What I learned about leadership at that time would fill books! 😉 Let me mention the importance of appropriate communication channels and of mission statements.

After the birth of my second child, my only daughter, I founded my company, weripower. Being self-employed offers me a huge pack of possibilities (freedom, flexibility, following my heart…) as well as a huge pack of responsability (finance, planning, marketing, …). weripower has been an area of growth ever since I founded it! 😉

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As a coach I am a compassionate leader through the coaching process, holding a safe space for the coachees to explore their inner realms. As a teacher of workshops and a facilitator of groups I emphasize benevolence and cooperation. The safe space is crucial for group processes – it’s my job to be present with my core values holding the bigger vision for the group.

By a natural process of growth I became the trusted coach and trainer of leaders: entrepreneurs, directors, senior managers. This is the point where I realized how much leadership is in all of us who take a public stand for their core values, who want to be part of the solution, who want to make a difference in the world.

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My research in the field of leadership leaves me with the realization that there is a common path to Feminin Evolutionary Leadership:

  1. initiation – the soul’s wakeup call
  2. inner leadership – how to manage myself, how to root myself in my inner truth
  3. purpose – why am I here, dharma, vocation
  4. outer leadership – how to inspire action, how to hold a safe space for a team

Moreover I found 9 feminine archetypes showing us the way into Feminin Evolutionary Leadership. But this is a different story for a new article! 😉 If you speak / read German, I am happy to introduce you to those qualities in my article and workshop curriculum!

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Your Contribution to Tomorrow’s World

Dear Courageous Soul,

You burst in tears – you want to contribute to a better world so badly. At the same time you feel so overwhelmed by all the bad news about the world we live in. “How can I be of any service?” This question tears your heart.

gelbe_blume_kleinWhenever you perceive a deficit, whenever you grieve on certain circumstances, whenever you get angry or furious about certain human behavior – it is a calling for your gift that you are here to offer to the world. It is a calling for your unique medicine that you carry in your heart that is desperately needed in the world. It is a calling for you to step into your inner and outer leadership.

If you can perceive the deficit, you have a vision of how it could be organized in a better way.

If you grieve on certain circumstances, you have an idea of what would be so beneficial and healing for these situations.

If you get angry or furious about certain human behavior, you hold a vision of the great potential that is not being used yet.

If you get triggered, you are being called forth to make a difference. Your playing small doesn’t help yourself nor anybody else. Your withdrawing and backing out doesn’t serve your soul nor humanity nor the world.

“Be the difference you want to see in the world”
~ Mahatma Ghandi

So I call you forth to become consciously aware of what you perceive, grieve, get angry or furious about. Ask yourself: What is it that I carry in me that could serve these situations? And then bring this medicine to the world around you. Take a stand for what is so very dear to your heart. Be true to yourself.

I call you forth to stand up and consciously offer us all your contribution for tomorrow’s world. Start where you are. Start with who you are. Start with what you have right now. The next steps will become visible once you are on the way. Be a conscious co-creator of our common future, of tomorrow’s world, of evolution.

I call you forth to grow into the next bigger version of yourself.

I bow to you in gratefulness,
Uli, your Soul Sister

PS: We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

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